Thoughts and Confessions of a Happy but Frustrated Stay-at-Home Mom
I have been a stay-at-home/breastfeeding mom to two beautiful kids for two years now and I’m loving it. I enjoy waking up to the sound of my kids’ laughter, I enjoy their hugs, I love the feel of their wet kisses on my cheeks and on my lips. I just love being with them. Hearing them call me Mom or Mommy is music to my ears. When I take them out to play, I like listening to the sound of their squeals and boisterous laughter as I watch them tumble and fall. I’ve really been lucky because I was there to witness their firsts.. .their first toothless smiles, their first steps, their first cry, their first bath..name it, I was there to witness it. Unlike their jealous dad who’s so far away. My husband has to go to China every now and then because it’s part of his job as a manager.
My husband is a good provider, but he would sometimes complain about how huge our credit card bill is or how huge our electric bill is, and I would feel guilty. Sometimes my ailing, old parents would come for a visit and I would feel all the more guilty because I can’t give them money at least for buying their medicines. I miss being able to give them at least a portion of my salary when I was still working as a call center agent. I miss being a dutiful daughter to my parents, I know that somehow, they are still counting on me. I get frustrated sometimes, knowing that I can do nothing. If only I had my own money to give. And, what about my obligation to my godchildren during their birthdays and special occasions? I can’t count the number of times I’ve told them “pass” or “I’ll just make up for it next time”. How about the number of invites from friends that I’ve turned down because I feel so guilty of spending my husband’s hard earned money just to have fun? Do they believe me when I tell them that I’m busy or my kids are sick?
I was so busy surfing the net when I stumbled upon this forum about online jobs and PTC sites. I guess it was a blessing in disguise. I’m still convincing myself to give it a try, who am I kidding? Of course I want to try it out, who wouldn’t?
I’m beginning to feel excited again. I want to be able to do what I want to do. I read something about paypal and getting an EON card from Union Bank, so I decided to take the first step.
Yesterday, I applied for an EON card and I’ll be getting it next week. Yey! Then I surfed some more. This time, I read a forum about HumanYNature Products. I decided I want to become a dealer...Pampering yourself while caring for the environment, perfect combination. Can’t wait to try HumanYNature, I’ve seen it on TV and so far feedback is nice.
At least for now this is my battle plan.
It’s not that I’m tired of being a mom, I’m just tired of being a bum!